My attempt at blogging is not new. My attempt at viewing my writing as a gift that I need to take seriously is. I can feel it. At the bottom of my gut. There is something more for me than the mundane life I am living now. I know God has called me to something bigger. But I find myself stuck in this rut of a robotic and unfulfilling life that I need to climb out of. I know a good portion of it is my attitude. Actually, I know ALL of it is my attitude. How can God give me more when I can’t even show signs of handling less?
I’m starting to understand that this life, this season that I am in right now is a test. This season of singleness, this season of looking for a career, this season of trying to find a wholesome group of friends to connect with is a space for me to either use or abuse. I could spend it pretending to work in the cubical wishing for something more, or I can use it to work at everything that I do as if I am working for the Lord. Sadly, I’ve been failing at this. But, as I’ve learned in listening to Chrystal Evans Hurst’ podcast series on self-coaching, it is never too late to change my thoughts or my actions. So, that is what I will try and do (with the help of a lot prayer of course). I will learn to work hard at EVERYTHING that I do. In my cubical at work, and in my gifts outside of work. However, my lack of discipline is what scares me the most. I don’t think this is the first time I have proudly declared that I will work my tail off so that God can actually use me in the way that He wants to. In fact, I think I have done this many times, only to fail, or lose interest in the end.
This blog will be my accountability. After all, I did pay for the domain name 🙂
I want to be a major part of God’s kingdom. I know that we all have a part, and I have been stuck in this limbo of trying to figure out what my God-given purpose really is. I know that my gift and interest rest in writing and producing videos. My form of storytelling.
Maybe storytelling is my gift…
With persistence, and prayer, and patience I know that God will reveal it to me. Maybe my journey to be used for something bigger starts with pressing “Publish” on this post.