“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
My weary heart needs rest. You know, that hot cocoa, chicken noodle, fleece blankets over my chilled body while watching the rain, type of rest. Because 90% of the time, I am scatter brained, anxious, nervous and just…tired. As much as I would like to say that the type of rest that I need involves a Netflix binge, it does’t. It goes deeper than that. I need to rest with the Word of God on my lap and in my heart.
Some time last year I began to notice that there was a huge whole in my heart. I tried filling it up, but I failed. I’m still failing. It wasn’t until I realized that something was wrong that I began to investigate why my heart felt so…well, empty. I searched christian blog after christian blog, looking for the diagnoses of a heart that could not be filled. A busy mind that could not be slowed, and a feeling of anxiety that would not flutter away. So while on my lunch break one day, I sat outside of a Starbucks, busily searching for the roots of the woes in my life on an iPhone and cafe wifi. After minutes had passed, I was finally faced with what I knew was true for me and my life; I had a restless heart. I didn’t need to search anymore. That one hit the spot. It was like my soul recognized the demon as soon as it came face to face with it. I was restless, my mind was restless, my actions were restless and until I could realize that very fact I would continue to try and fill up a restless soul that was only designed to be filled by a King.
Jesus. In that moment, I realized that my soul needed Jesus. Now, understanding something that is needed for change and doing something that is needed for change are two very different practices. However, it is my mission this year to step out of my busy thoughts, step away from my constant worries, and set down my forceful anxieties so that I can rest with the One who wants so dearly to spend time with me. I just have to receive it.