I’m a fighter. Not in the literal “boxing gloves and vaseline” sense, but I have noticed that I have the tendency to fight against things. Sometimes unknowingly. Over the years I have taken note on how I can hear a sermon, read a blog post, receive personal advice from people in my life that I truly respect and do absolutely nothing with it. Well, that has to change. I spend so much of my time complaining about things that I need to change, that I don’t think about what I could do (or Who I should surrender to) in order to make it happen. As a Christian, I am given the blessing and freedom to have direct communication with the One who holds the future of my life. Although I often find myself fretting over where I will be in 10 years, I know that God knows where I will be in 20. Even so, I still find myself fighting against the fact that it is God who holds my future. And if I ever plan to accept my current position as a necessary growing pain in order to make me the person that God is calling me to be.
No, you aren’t crazy. Those short gray walls surrounding your desk, boxing you in for the next 8 hours have the tendency to move. Even if it’s just mentally. With 80% of your time spent at work, and most likely at a desk, it is easy to go stir crazy. Constantly battling the feeling to just jump up and run out of your office and into a field of soft comfy pillows and a marathon of Stranger Things. Although the temptation is strong, we must prevail. In our hardest moments of being at a job that we struggle to find success and happiness at, we must remember that our time of persevering through data-entry mistakes, rude calls, and frozen clocks will only help to build the type of character that is needed to sustain you through the rocky moments of that career that you so desire.
This verse from Romans helps to bring me back. Back to my senses during any moment of doubt, impatience and frustrations. It is what reminds me that this time that I am spending, struggling to see the light, will only help to build the type of person that I need to be for what will come next.
So, when the cubicle walls begin to close in on you
Has the education system played us? Have we fallen so blindly down this curious and unfamiliar black hole, chasing a white rabbit of hopes and dreams, that we couldn’t see the pitch forks waiting for us at the very bottom? Are we creating a culture of excited high school graduates who will soon walk across stages and into a wonderland of debt? From what I can tell, it seems to be the only guided path to the American dream. Or at least that’s what they told us.
Actually. Let’s just be honest. They never told us anything about college. They only told us to go. In my years of sitting with college counselors and mentors as a high school student, I never once received the advice that I could save money and take my general courses at a community college. Now, with over $ 1.2 trillion dollars in student loan debt hovering over us as a nation, we are left with the consequences of hopeful students who were never given a plan on how to achieve their dreams and career goals without befriending Sallie Mae. Afterall, we told them that this was the only way.
I was one of the lucky ones. I had a mother who saw through the system, and what they had to offer and took a different direction. As I sit here with one degree (debt free), and another quickly approaching, I realize that I will forever be indebted to her, and her wisdom. However, there are still more than 40 million people (and counting), who will now spend a majority of their adult lives paying for a degree that only took them four years to earn. I wonder how long they will allow us to fall down this rabbit hole before they realize that the true benefits of a highly educated society can only begin when we are no longer enslaved by circumstances that are too heavy to hold on the way to the top.
This week has been rough. Each day I’ve approached the timeclock dragging the heaviness of the last 8 hours behind me. I walk out the doors feeling as if I’ve just barely dodged an avalanche of rocks. Just. Barely. Today was no different. Typically speaking, I am most often filled with energy on Thursdays as it is the day before every corporate employee’s favorite day. Friday. But today, that energy was no where to be found. And to my distress, I don’t believe it will come tomorrow either. However, there was a moment in the day when I began to get some of that energy back. Lunch time approached and I dragged myself with pounted lips and a sour soul into a nearby Taco Bell. I ordered a Mexican Pizza and a medium Mountain Dew. I found a small table near a window and pulled a small notebook out of my purse. I needed to write. Because something has got to give.
I can no longer be weighted down by the feelings that I will be forever stuck in my journey to find a career. Not just a job. So instead of scarfing down my Taco Bell pizza, and mad dogging any person I made eye contact with out of my own frustrations, I turned to a blank page in my note book and quickly jotted down a title at the very top of the page.
At first, the title started as “Career Plans”, but I quickly realized I have no clue what it is I want to do. So how can I have a plan? The “idea” aspect of this activity gave me more freedom to explore the areas I want, (and do not want) to seek after. It was on this page where I realized that my true passion was to serve people, benefit their lives in some way, and share their progress to encourage others who may be struggling too.
And that’s it. At least for now.
Upon writing this, my energy began to surface again. Maybe you can blame the caffiene from the Mountain Dew, but in that 20 minutes of journaling what I wanted my career to focus on, I found a little of the spark that had been dead for the last four days. I don’t know what this idea will lead to. I’m not even sure what career field I should begin looking into. But what I do know, is that now I have a vision. Yes, Friday will still probably be a long and tough day. But, I can hold on to the fact that now I have a mission. A target. A goal. And I just have to hold on, work well, pray hard, and get there.