This week has been rough. Each day I’ve approached the timeclock dragging the heaviness of the last 8 hours behind me. I walk out the doors feeling as if I’ve just barely dodged an avalanche of rocks. Just. Barely. Today was no different. Typically speaking, I am most often filled with energy on Thursdays as it is the day before every corporate employee’s favorite day. Friday. But today, that energy was no where to be found. And to my distress, I don’t believe it will come tomorrow either. However, there was a moment in the day when I began to get some of that energy back. Lunch time approached and I dragged myself with pounted lips and a sour soul into a nearby Taco Bell. I ordered a Mexican Pizza and a medium Mountain Dew. I found a small table near a window and pulled a small notebook out of my purse. I needed to write. Because something has got to give.
I can no longer be weighted down by the feelings that I will be forever stuck in my journey to find a career. Not just a job. So instead of scarfing down my Taco Bell pizza, and mad dogging any person I made eye contact with out of my own frustrations, I turned to a blank page in my note book and quickly jotted down a title at the very top of the page.
At first, the title started as “Career Plans”, but I quickly realized I have no clue what it is I want to do. So how can I have a plan? The “idea” aspect of this activity gave me more freedom to explore the areas I want, (and do not want) to seek after. It was on this page where I realized that my true passion was to serve people, benefit their lives in some way, and share their progress to encourage others who may be struggling too.
And that’s it. At least for now.
Upon writing this, my energy began to surface again. Maybe you can blame the caffiene from the Mountain Dew, but in that 20 minutes of journaling what I wanted my career to focus on, I found a little of the spark that had been dead for the last four days. I don’t know what this idea will lead to. I’m not even sure what career field I should begin looking into. But what I do know, is that now I have a vision. Yes, Friday will still probably be a long and tough day. But, I can hold on to the fact that now I have a mission. A target. A goal. And I just have to hold on, work well, pray hard, and get there.