Around 5:00am last Monday I received a group text message from a Church member. It was a photo of a door, nicely hidden behind the green branches of nature that surrounded it. It was comforting and intriguing and it even held some holiday flare. However, it was not the photo of the door that inspired me to cling on to it to the point where I was ready to use it as my desktop photo, no. It was the caption:
“Until God opens the next door praise Him in the hallway”.
It’s weird. I’ve heard this saying plenty of times before, but it is only now where it is truly beginning to have meaning. Not to mention that the timing of this text could not have been anymore…”coincidental”.
About two weeks prior to receiving this text I felt this desire for something more as I was driving to work. I had just had an interesting and chill weekend with friends, but it left me wanting…needing something more. I was beginning to fall more in love with the hope that God would give me the opportunity to go somewhere with Him. I wanted Him to take me out of my everyday circumstances that I had grown so bored and stagnant with and into a place where I was learning to depend more on Him. As I was thinking this I began to realize that Dallas, Texas had been a city that I have recently become curious about visiting. So, for whatever reason, I came up with the idea of how great it would be to somehow find a temporary position in Dallas, Texas. A solid government position that would allow me to move and live in Texas on my own that would only last for a specific amount of time. After all, I don’t have a desire to leave California forever, I just need a temporary escape that would allow me to grow in every area of my life.
I pulled up to my job about 10 minutes before I would have to clock in. I decided to use this moment to do a random job search. I went on to GovernmentJobs.com and I typed in “Public Administration” in the subject box. However, when it came to the location box, I decided to type “Dallas, Texas”. Random. I had never done a job search in another state before. But since I was in this “wondering” state of mind I decided to give it a shot. When the search came up one of the very first positions that I came across was the job opening titled, “Management Fellow”. The title wasn’t very descriptive so I decided to click the opening to read what it was about. I was shocked. It was an entry level government position in the City of Dallas for two years for someone who will recently complete their Masters in Public Administration. There are times when I really don’t believe in coincidences. This is one of them. What are the odds that at the exact moment I was hoping for a temporary escape in Dallas, Texas, that I would randomly choose to log on and find a temporary position that matches my qualifications.
Here is where the hallway comes into play. I applied for the job. Almost as soon as I got home. I attached every single document that they could possibly want to see to my application believing that this was a sign from God. I was anxious about applying, but hopeful. I felt even more confirmed when I got an email two weeks later that I had made it to the second phase. After completing that step, I now find myself in the hallway. It’s been exactly one week since I submitted my paper for phase 2 and I have not heard anything back. I have found myself obsessing over the possibility that this really could be an opportunity sent from God, and I am trying my best not to screw it up. The irony. It is the last thing I think about when I go to bed and the first thing I think about when I wake up. I dream about it, I check my emails constantly and I find myself drifting from excitement to sadness. For the past few days I have been fighting the urge to check on the “status of my application” with a quick email, but I am forcing myself to remain still, and trust God. If this is His will, then it will be. But if it is not, then it is back to the prayer board. As much as I want it, I will not force anything God has not yet confirmed. So I am painfully and imperfectly learning to praise Him in this hallway until the next door opens, even if the Texas door stays closed.
So, I am lifting this up to Him. I would not want to move anywhere without His blessing or approval. Thanksgiving is in three days and I will be spending it in Las Vegas with family. I’ll just obsess over that and the fact that I have a rough draft for a 25 page paper due in a week.